12 Simple Ways to Make Your Relationship Last
The beginning of a relationship is always exciting. Two people are attracted to each other, begin to discover more about one another, and can see the relationship grow. Everything about a new relationship is novel and thrilling.
Once the relationship has matured however, the difficult work begins. The phase of everything being a new adventure is mostly over and focus switches to making the relationship work. Of course, there are still new and exciting things that happen, it’s just not as common. It’s easy to become complacent with another person and take them for granted past a certain phase.
Building and maintaining a long-term relationship can require some work, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Watching the other person grow, starting a family, buying a house, and otherwise sharing your life with someone else is wonderful.
Communication is the key to a fit and long-lasting relationship. Split your worries, joys together with your partner. This will make your relationship longer lasting.
Touch Each Other
Human touch aids the release of feel-good endorphins, for giver and receiver. So hold hands when you’re walking, and brush her cheek when you smooch good morning. Revive the ways you touched in the early days—a kiss on the back of the ear, a hand through her hair. Adding more of this kind of touch will help you build a fortress of love. That’s important, because a couple who form a tight unit can weather any storm (and are better able to stave off infidelity).
How do you build this bond? First, support your partner. Take his or her side whenever possible if trouble arises in the “outside world.” Keep their secrets to yourself, even when everyone at work spills theirs. Except in a true emergency, don’t let anything interrupt “us” time. That’s what voice mail and bedroom-door locks are for. Make a commitment to spend up to 30 minutes a day chatting with each other about everyday plans, goals and, yes, dreams. This is time to build a friendship. Studies show that being friends pays off over time, ensuring a closer, sexier union. And don’t forget to make time for intimacy, even if you must log it in your day planner.
Be a Good Teammate.
Being in a relationship is a two-person job. If you want your relationship to last, you cannot expect your partner to do all of the work. This includes general housework (if you live together) to actually being the only one to contribute to the relationship physically and emotionally. It’s a two-way street, and if it’s only running one way, its not going to last.
Surprise her with flowers. Plan him a special night under the stars. Do anything to show how much you really care about each other. As redundant as this may sound, its a really important step in any relationship.
Research has shown that your partner will change in some way every 7-8 years. The change may be drastic or minuscule, but you need to expect to see some sort of difference in the person’s mind or body.
Personal change is a natural process in life, but we often don’t accommodate for these changes in our relationships. For both people, it is important to assess where you’re at and let your partner know what you need. If you don’t communicate this change, trouble often follows.
So just know what you’re thinking and feeling, let your partner know (communication!) and be honest. Understand that change is inevitable, and this applies to two people in love.
Learn to Listen
The single most powerful step you can take to keep a relationship solid? Speak less and listen more. Blame, insults, criticism and bullying predict a bad end, or at least a living hell. When talk turns combative, don’t interrupt, offer a solution or defend yourself too soon.
When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. So nod, rephrase or provide a soft “um-hum” to show you honour the emotions behind the words. Sometimes, all we really need to do to feel closer to someone is pay closer attention to what it is that they’re saying.
Do not blame your partner for everything that goes wrong in the relationship
This is always very tempting especially when you are angry or frustrated. If you are going through a hard time, it is important to reflect in order to determine whether you are contributing to the turmoil.
If you continually suggest your partner as the one who needs to make the adjustment then inevitably they will become defensive and friction will be the result. Consider and address your own flaws which may be destroying the relationship before you demand the same of your partner. Through self-reflection the optimism and positivity will increase in the relationship which will strengthen the bonds. Blame, on the other hand, will lead to a cycle of negativity ) that will continue to sour the relationship.
Learn To Compromise
Two different people sometimes mean two different viewpoints. This is most evident when making any kind of decision – big or small. Sometimes, the two people agree and sometimes not. When there is a disagreement, don’t allow it to become a full-fledged argument. Instead discuss it calmly and rationally.
Be thoughtful and empathetic with the other person’s view on something. Don’t hear their response and immediately become defensive, insisting that you should have the final say. If you are unsure about why your partner thinks the way that they do, just ask questions for clarity.
For smaller decisions, simply take turns allowing each other to decide. If you picked the place to eat dinner, then allow your partner to choose which movie you will see.
Apologize When You’re Wrong
We all make mistakes in a relationship, but part of making a relationship last is willingness to admit these mistakes. If you committed a mistake, simply apologize to your partner. Being stubborn and insisting that you were right when you were clearly wrong is much worse than the blunder itself.
Further, it’s not enough to mumble “I’m sorry…” while your partner is walking away. Sincerity and eye contact are important elements to any apology. Forego your pride and state your apology with meaning.
Also, learn to accept each other’s apology. Stubbornness can also be present on the recipient’s side; so if your partner is sincerely apologetic, accept the words with sincerity and move on.
Mind Your Manners.
Another one of mom’s golden rules, you should always remember to mind your manners when you are with your partner. You don’t want to gross them out by letting out big burps without saying excuse me, and for some people, that could very well be a deal breaker.
There is always a lot of work involved in maintaining a relationship with someone, but if you always remember how much they mean to you, it will not seem like work. You can ask anyone who has been in a relationship for a long period of time—they wouldn’t trade it all for anything.
Respect His or Her Friends.
This is another big one. If you are not a big fan of his/her friends, you are better off keeping that your little secret. You don’t have to like them, but for the sake of your relationship, you should at the very least respect them.
Remember to say “Thank You.”
This is one of those golden rules mom always taught you. These two simple words can mean a lot to someone. Saying “thank you” is such a simple way to make someone feel as if they are appreciated. Ask yourself this question: would you stay in a relationship if you felt unappreciated?